The deal with MCA/BE wives??!!!

[Ndelhi]

I always wonder why do I always meet a desi wife and shes either an MCA or BE??!! :confused:

I wonder if all the other professions are considered worthless or is it just a matter of making sure that you'll have double income after marraige??!! Desi dudes feel quite cool flaunting their wives' degrees even if shes a sit home mom.

Wonder if it was a great idea investing time and money in an absolute non IT field and termed as 'non MCA working person' uuhhh.. a taboo !

uuummm... just a thought.!!! no hard feelings :)

[smiley12]

It is all about double income and being financially more comfortable in US. That was my reason to look for a BE wife ...

--Wonder if it was a great idea investing time and money in an absolute non IT field and termed as 'non MCA working person' uuhhh.. a taboo !

may be if you are in US and unable to get a job

[vkrishn]

But anyway, agirl with a B.E has to do an M.S to get job in u.s? any other field where there is less money spent on the resources to get a decent job even if it is less a paying one?

vkrishn

[Ndelhi]

Well I am really glad that I am in a place like America coz here theres tremendous value for labour and work.

I am really happy being a non MCA/technical person and yet have a whole lot of oppurtunities waiting for me all the time.My only question is why is it so important to be an MCA to have a comfortable life???I think working with UPS makes life pretty comfortable and fun too..??!! or is it simply the Indian stero type prestige issue..???

Again no hard feelings but just trying to analyze a few things here...as I believe other professions are really great and can give u a comfortable life too...coz not every American is a software engineer yet American life style is the most comfortable one.

Just all about ones attitude.. i guess..!!
:)

[nklauss]

I think the main thing here is that in an arranged marriage (peculiar to the Indian subcontinent), parents try to match a lot of things, including profession. So with the bulk of Indian working population in the US being of engineers, they end up with engineer spouses.

I don't think it is a question of Indian men not having enough value for "non technical" fields but simply a question of what profession is more lucrative. A job at UPS agreed can help you earn a living (I don't know how comfortably you can live on a UPS salary); but compared to the earnings of an engineer, I am sure you will agree salary is not that great.
My wife is a stay at home mom and we live on just my salary and are quite comfortable with that, not rich, but comfortable. Being an engineer (of course!!), I am able to provide for my family in my salary and my wife has the option of staying home or working (no, she is not an MCA/ Engineer); if I worked for the UPS, I am sure that is something we could not afford to do (live on a single income).

So it all comes down the the economics of the thing like Smiley said. Most Indians like to have a not just a house and good cars but also savings in the bank. Both husband and wife working ensures that and both husband and wife working at a lucrative, high paying job ensures that even better.

[Ndelhi]

Hi

No I am not talking about any profession in specific or how well u can live on your income but I am mainly talking about MCA wives which almost seems an important factor to get married to a guy in US.

I am very happy with my job and salary at UPS much better off than working for those desi software companies where u don't even know which client you are actually working for..coz your resume goes from one multitech to another synitech to energy tech and all of them taking a cut one after another what you get in your hand is a well know fact in the desi community :D

I personally feel its a great oppurtunity to be here in America where its so easy to change your proffesion and field unlike India where once an engineer always an engineer.If my spouse is the bread earner I am capable of providing that extra butter and even jam at times to the family.What we need to do is really look beyond and try and recognise other professions as professions because if the girl on the other side is not there to answer your call when u have a problem in your AT & T phone bill then you are just stuck.Thats a profession too !

There are lots and lots of job oppurtunities here in the US only if we look beyond IT and try not always be a coders I think everyone will have that extra butter with the bread.. :)

Just a thought which always come cross when I look at sit home wives here :)

[Ndelhi]

Also I am not trying to pin point anything or looking down upon anyones choice or decision.. just wish that all of us try and break free and do something different and not be really stuck to one profession.

Life is definetly not bad at all outside IT world.. trust me there still a lot of lucrative jobs!! :)

[nklauss]

I hear what you're saying. It's a noble thought and I do know of a lot of ladies who came to the US from India with little else besides their high school diplomas and worked their way up from small, part-time jobs, to full fledged jobs as managers etc.
So yes, anything is possible in America :)

Just one observation though, I detect a certain amount of contempt in your posts for stay at home wives. I wonder why??
Everybody's motivation for the choices they make is different and I don't think it is any body's place to judge somebody on what they choose to do with their lives.

I apolgize if I read too much into your post but thats the sense I got from it :D

[csingh]

I agree with Ndelhi that the great thing about America is that you can work at any job, however big or small, and earn a living at that; don't necessarily need big qualifications or degrees.

I think another factor that we need to consider is the work visas. I mean being a largely immigrant group, most of the people first start to work here on H1s and being on an H4 it is difficult to find work unless the spouse too can convert to a work visa. Being a BE etc I guess makes the whole process of getting an h1 easier. That too, in my opinion, is a factor that guys want to marry girls with a BE degree.

A lot of my friends who work in fields other than engineering or business management; have husband's who are either citizens or Green card holders and that in turn gives them the liberty to choose whatever they wish to work at.

Some of it is of course, stereotyping, because parents back home want their kids to grow up and get professional degrees and become doctors and engineers only! :)

[saptagir]

It's just not you nklauss, I read the 'contempt' for sit at home wives in Ndelhi's post too!!!! I really wish we were 'sit' at home wives...sitting is something I do when I drive the car, and right now while typing this post. .I wonder what exactly is the definition of a stay-home- wife/mom??? To say the least, it's a 24 hour job with basically no break, even on weekends! Please do not underestimate the value of a wife/spouse who chooses to stay home to take care of the spouse/home/kids. I think it's the most difficult of all jobs!!!!

[Ndelhi]

Well you are quite right that no one has the right to judge the other person. Everybody's motivation for the choices they make is different.

I do not in anyway want to condemn a sit home mom or an IT girl but just want to point out that there are professions beyond IT as well...

To me education is abilty to question, take on the world all by yourself, to be independent and face the ups and down boldly..not a just a fat degree from a university.I am not in anyway comaparing work at home to working outside.Infact the girls who work have 2 jobs to do!!!!!

Now this the kinda attitude I am talking about..! :)

[vkrishn]

I am assuming that ndlehi is GC holder. As someone else pointed out ppl who come on H4 without professional degrees find it hard to get a job and its easier for them to get a decent paying job with a H-1.I think its a smarter way to think ahead... I certainly don;t find anything wrong with guys looking out B.E/MCA professionals.

[nklauss]

Precisely, Vkrishn and Csingh. I think you put the right perspective on the issue here :)

The only other way for desi women to find work is to work for some shady indian owned stores illegally. Which is another long story of working for pittance.

[forsomk]

It was a nice conversation and I appreciate your thoughts on this. I am a engineer and My wife is an HR background, with a BA degree, with this I would like to share my experience. She was working in india for almost 7 years and now she has only limited options, either she completes her graduation with will take 3 years to file her H1B to work in United States or just accept the fact that I cannot work and should be a stay home mom. Its just not money but its their career and ambition to work too. So on this basis I think people smartly choose either Engineer or MCA wifes so that they could be eligible to work in United States.

[smiley12]

forsomk

U just hit the nail on the head. Thats the reason that people prefer spouses from IT background in US

[poragoru]

It was a nice conversation and I appreciate your thoughts on this. I am a engineer and My wife is an HR background, with a BA degree, with this I would like to share my experience. She was working in india for almost 7 years and now she has only limited options, either she completes her graduation with will take 3 years to file her H1B to work in United States or just accept the fact that I cannot work and should be a stay home mom. Its just not money but its their career and ambition to work too. So on this basis I think people smartly choose either Engineer or MCA wifes so that they could be eligible to work in United States.


I agree someway, but keep in mind that in many cases husbands do not want their wives to work - but rather want their wives to raise their children. In many cases, wives also don't want to work outside. So, being eligible for a job is a factor, but not a major factor in most of the cases. I feel the major factors are following:

1. As someone mentioned already, it's part of deal in arranged marriage where grooms and his parents want "someone with similar qualification". That's why they ignore or do not consider other qualifications and professions - teachers, clerks. Degree is something that matters - exclusively. "If my son is BE/ME/MCA and he deserves a MCA". :)

2. Also, I think it's also a common assumption (right or wrong that's separate issue) that someone with similar qualification will make life easier and comfortable for goom - epecially socializing with groom's friend's circle, colleagues and non-desi neighbors, able to speak English, able to understand the cultures beyond Indian traditions. After all qualification that makes you smart - that's the typical Indian mindset.