u think desis dnt have unity here?

[ASHAH]

Hi,

I m here in US since 1 yr now. I have seen that at any place here, Americans have unity among them selves, chinese have unity among them selves but desi always thinks to let down another desi. My husband has a project in a very good company, where americans and chinese gets so much support from there own community and promote there own people. where as desi :mad: pulls each others leg. And i have noticed one more thing in many desis that if they r here for more then 3-4 yrs there attitude changes like any thing and becomes very very arrogant I dont know whether every one face the same problem or not.

[smiley12]

It is very difficult to make a "generalized" comment on any community in particular . I am sure there are all kinds of people everywhere ..

[csingh]

Have to agree with Smily12; am sure there are competitive people who pull each other down amongst all communities....
the question is, is it more prevalent in our Indian community? I don't think so...

I can't say much about the workplace but everywhere else, whenever I've approached a 'desi' for help, I've got it. Right from desi cab drivers helping me out with directions to desi commuters helping me with figuring out how to buy train tickets to the desi guy who backed my car out of a tight parking spot for me....and the list goes on...
I guess I would have got help from just about anybody had I asked but it just wouldn't be the same if you can't get a friendly smile and a discussion about what part of India we happen to be from :D

A bit off the topic I agree, but that's my rather simplistic perspective... :)

[ASHAH]

csingh

can u b more specific on "it just wouldn't be the same if you can't a friendly smile and a discussion about what part of India we happen to be from".

[csingh]

Hi Asha,

I just reread what I wrote and realized I had a typo there :)

to be more specific; there is this sense of comaraderie when you interact with desis here....like whenever I've helped or been helped by a desi (who is a complete stranger to me), we always end up talking a few minutes about where we happen to be from, when we came here etc etc...before heading our separate ways;
which wouldn't happen if, lets say, an american helped you out. I'd just say thank you and go my way... :D

of course, like you say, the work place might be different; but I wouldn't really generalize. My husband has been here for 6 years now and he goes all out of his way to help new desis a whole lot; giving them rides to work; helping them get settled in etc and there has been many a time when a new desi at work has called him late at night because he was stuck somewhere and couldn't get a bus back home and he'd go pick them up....
and my hubby in turn gets it from the desis who helped him out in a similar way when he came to the US first.....

I am sure there are people who'd love to tear down a fellow desi at work but I guess that is just their basic nasty nature :)

[ASHAH]

Hi c singh,

I know every desi is not alike. May b u had good experience and i didnot. I just dnt smile and talk to pple whom i have helped or got help from, if at any place i see indian i try to be friendly with them and they also respond well some times and we r good friends now

But there is exception, as to say my next door neighbour. I was stuck up with my car as the battery was down and i had to immediately go to doctor with my kid. i asked him to help me but he replied he is very tired and cnt go. i had to call a cab but he said he will take 20 mnts. i was so helpless i asked help from some american who was just passing thru and without asking a single question he drove me there. & Not only me but many other indians have received ill treatment from other indian.

Anyways i think every individual have different experience. some have good and some have bad

[csingh]

Hi Asha,

Sorry you had to come across such a rotten desi neighbour....yeah agree with you that I've not really come across that kind of behaviour from the desis I've met, so I guess I've been lucky so far!! :)
I wonder what that neighbour would do if the roles were reversed and he needed your help...
What goes around, comes around; I do believe in that!

Take care.

[jackofalltrades]

well ladies csingh and asha,

Its like this...when we have good experiences we think every single person is good and when we have bad experience, we think each and every person is bad.

It all depends on the experiences which we get in life and we assume that things are good or bad.So its a person's thinking.And every person has a mind of his/her own.You get good experiences, you get bad experiences.

Like i got good experiences from couple of pakistanis here, good experiences from indians here.Also bad experiences from desis who tried to show off and act smart.Other desi tried to laugh at me when I was new to subway and ordering something in subway.

So its life ladies(I assume u both are ladies here)

Enjoy ur US life. :)

[Ndelhi]

well thats well said.. it all depends on our individual experience.Even i had some good exp. with a pakistani couple at the same time not so good with some others.


Its just about living life on your own, don't expect ppl to help around and want them by your side all the time like back in India.If once in a while you get a friendly hello or help just be thankful and smile back.Its just a matter of taking things easy and not taking it too seriously,we have all kind of people be it India or U.S its just you meet some good ones or some bad ones once in a while...

Take it easy..!

[rkscmhoh]

csingh seems to have a way with cabbie desis....who are out to please him with a flashing smile and a quip about the part of India csingh hails from ...in hope of a great tip

Hey....turn around....meet the "have-it-all" desi.....you will find an association to the context that desis are being painted out here in this thread.

I get pissed off big time with desis who show off with the famous start line "when you did you came" .... such suckers !!

[rkscmhoh]

Asha is right.....I know the csingh's viewpoint engenders from the fact that he/she is a good soul at heart "bura na dekho, bura na karo, bura na bolo" ....but there are such kick-ass desis, I agree. I feel so awkward to bad-mouth my own junta...but then....I can't clobber the suckers for their indifference, can I :D ?

Asha, I have seen several of the desi that you described in your situation. What pains me is that such desis, who act-up when you have to unfortunately seek their help , would hasten to help an American in a despicably servile manner.

No wonder such desis are given "kick their butts" in our homelands, so they run to the US for easy life. Amazing country, this US is....where even such people can thrive !!!

[nklauss]

So what is your point exactly? In one post you say desis don't acknowledge each other and avoid being friendly, on the other hand you seem to be detest the thought of desis talking about 'where they come from?'
I have desi neighbors who I'm friends with; and being in a foreign land, its but natural that the question of where they come from/ when they came over, would inevitably crop up.
If I were you, I wouldn't be in such a hurry to tear down Csingh just because what she says goes against what you've experienced. I'm sure after being on this forum she'd realize that all desis afterall, aren't nice people.

[poragoru]

But there is exception, as to say my next door neighbour. I was stuck up with my car as the battery was down and i had to immediately go to doctor with my kid. i asked him to help me but he replied he is very tired and cnt go. i had to call a cab but he said he will take 20 mnts. i was so helpless i asked help from some american who was just passing thru and without asking a single question he drove me there. & Not only me but many other indians have received ill treatment from other indian.

A dog and a donkey were going to the market with their master. It was a very long way across a mountainous path. At noon, the master ate the little food he had brought along, unloaded the donkey, and settled down under a tree for a nap.

The donkey began to eat the grass growing there, but there was nothing for the dog to eat.

“There are some loaves among the load you were carrying,” said the dog to the donkey. “Let’s take one and share it between ourselves.”

“Wait till the master gets up!” said the donkey, tersely. “He’ll feed you then.”

Just then a ravenous wolf came into view.

“Help me, help me, dog!” pleaded the donkey, quavering in fear.

“I’m so hungry I don’t have the strength to do anything,” replied the dog. “Wait till the master gets up. He’ll certainly help you.”

[mikroman]

Hav'nt you read the joke "indian crabs in a jar without lid. Everybody scared aroud that they might get out of the jar and hurt someone. The owner repplies pleasantly "dont worry. They wont let each other get out of the container. Coz they are Indians. Will keep pulling back who so ever even attempts to get out.